San Antonio girl’s ‘transparency letter’ for bridesmaids goes viral on TikTok
After TikTok about a “transparency letter” she sent to her bridesmaids, a future bride from San Antonio uses her online platforms to share her experiences – and opinions – on wedding planning.
Lisa Torres is a chartered accountant based here in Alamo City, but social media users from around the world may know her by her online handle @lisalovesrandom. Her most recent TikTok, in which she talks about a “transparency letter” she sent to her potential bridesmaids, went viral on the platform. The video sparked a lot of discussion about the bridesmaids’ culture and expectations, and even inspired Torres to continue creating content throughout her wedding planning process.
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In the letter, Torres wrote down the time and money commitments associated with living as a bridesmaid, something she wished she had known before she became a bridesmaid herself. Torres says being a bridesmaid not only takes up a lot of time between the wedding dress purchase, bridal shower (something she’s not even sure of), bachelorette party, rehearsal dinner, and the ceremony itself, but it’s also a huge financial obligation. Although she said that she and her friends are all in their late twenties and financially stable, she wanted all of the ladies to know they were getting involved.
“Whenever I thought about how different one wedding could be from another, I realized, ‘Okay, just let me lay it all out here,’” Torres tells MySA. “It’s time.”
#stitch with @ stephanieberman7 I was scared to have a #transparency letter in the #bridesmaid application box, but it worked. #wedding #weddingstiktok
♬ Original sound – Lisa? ‘?
Most importantly, Torres gave her best friends the chance to say “no” to being a bridesmaid without any harsh feelings. A friend respectfully declined what Torres said she fully understood.
Lisa Torres and her fiance Alex Cortes
A San Antonio woman’s TikTok about a transparency letter she sent to her bridesmaids went viral – and inspired her to keep using the platform for wedding-related content.
lisalovesrandom / TikTok3rdof3rd
“The average bridesmaid cost for an American wedding is well over $ 1,000,” says Torres. “The motivation really came from my desire to be below average.”
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Torres said she put together the incredibly organized letter one night and was sure to include details about the wedding attire (including colors and aesthetics); the bachelorette party (held at an all-inclusive resort in Mexico); and their expectations of when their bridesmaids will need to be by their side (depending on whether they live in or near San Antonio or quite a distance away).
And since she’s the Type A persona, Torres added some sort of FAQ section where she revealed how her wedding reception goes. The wedding party doesn’t have to sit at the main table (instead with their Plus-1) and Torres will even pay for their bridesmaids’ hair and makeup on the big day.
“That was my decision,” says Torres of her, who paid for the beauty expenses. “I was just trying to be fair.”
Social media users had a variety of opinions, from some criticizing Torres’ expectations of bridesmaids (a culture that Torres has no control over) to others who praised them for their honesty. Others made suggestions for the letter, such as more detailed information about the duties of the maid of honor.
Lisa Torres and her fiance Alex Cortes
Despite the negative attention, Torres has no plans to stop sharing wedding content on TikTok and Instagram. She plans to post about her own wedding planning by her big day in May 2022, but says she might even provide more insight later. Part of this content will go into how Torres would like to organize her wedding on her own terms.
“There are a lot of traditions that I don’t want to do,” admits Torres. “I don’t intend to throw the bouquet. I don’t intend to do the garter throw. That’s just not my preference. “
While she says tradition is important to many brides, she hopes that her example can help others understand that it’s okay to make their wedding day just the way they want it (as long as it’s not unreasonable).
You can keep up with Torres on TikTok and Instagram.