Contained in the TikTok Bride’s ‘Necessary’ Marriage ceremony Information for Bridesmaids
- The bride-to-be Lisa Torres created a letter of mandatory expectations for the bridesmaids that went viral on TikTok.
- She shared the full letter with Insider, which includes a budget, schedule, and frequently asked questions.
- Torres wished she had fleshed out her timeline more, but had great overall responses to her creation.
- Visit Insider’s homepage for more stories.
Future bride Lisa Torres went viral on TikTok after speaking about the detailed letter of mandatory wedding obligations she gave to each of her bridesmaids.
Now Torres fully shares her letter and the changes she would make to the document if she did it again in hopes of helping other brides have a smoother wedding experience.
On the June 6th TikTok, Torres, a 29-year-old from San Antonio, Texas, stated that when she asked them to attend their wedding, she gave the two-sided letter to each of her future bridesmaids, along with a box of goodies.
The response has been positive, but Torres told Insider that if she did it again the document would be even more detailed.
Torres says all brides should be open about their expectations
Torres told Insider she created the document after experiencing misunderstandings as a bridesmaid herself and hearing similar stories from her friends.
“When I listened to her complaints, it really seemed like a lack of clarity from the start.”
But it was a nerve-wracking experience showing the documents to each of her friends as she had no idea how they would react.
After handing over the list of expectations, Torres knew she had made the right decision.
“Whenever they opened it, they’d say, ‘Wow, that’s really good,'” said Torres.
Inside Torres’ guide, from the dress code to the FAQs
The document starts with a blurb about why Torres created it in the first place, followed by the expected cost, the amount of time it took, and a frequently asked questions section.
Torres used Google to speak with friends about their experiences to create the outline.
During the research, she came across points that she had not considered before, such as whether the bride and groom were sitting together at the reception and whether they had to change their appearance for the wedding.
“I was really surprised that bridesmaids should ask, ‘Hey, should I dye my hair? Do you want me not to be pregnant?’ That really surprised me, “said Torres.
“No, that’s strange,” she told them.
Most of all, she wanted to be honest about the cost of the wedding reception
For Torres, the cost statement was the most important part of the document, as she didn’t want any of her friends to get into financial stress.
She explained that bridesmaids are responsible for buying their dresses a dusty pink, but they could choose any style. Torres also collapsed stag do and travel expenses, saying bridal shower members wouldn’t pay for a bridal shower.
If she started over, Torres would add more points
In hindsight, Torres said she added more to budgeting, bridal shower responsibilities, and the schedule of events.
“I wish I had added, ‘If you want to be a bridesmaid but you think you can’t due to time or money, let me know and we will work something out,'” she said.
But Torres had just under 24 hours to present it to her best friend, who was visiting at the last minute. That meant more detailed details, like a timeline of wedding-related events, didn’t make the cut.
Still, Torres noted that the document prevented tension among friends and said her TikTok supporters agree.
“There are people [in the TikTok comments] argue about wedding customs. And I think they’re so close to the point, like people expecting different things, which may be because they have different customs across religions and cultures, ”said Torres. “But because of these differences, the transparency letter is a good idea.”